01.02.09
This time next year…
It’s the second day of the New Year. Yesterday I took down my 2008 fairy calendar and put up a shiny new 2009 fairy calendar. That was exciting, of course. I also continued painting in what will soon be “the baby’s room.” Right now, it still has the look of a cluttered storage space, mainly because my elliptical machine had to spend the holidays in there to make room for our Christmas tree in the living room. Soon, though, the tree will go to the stream to make nice little fishy hiding places, the elliptical will go… someplace else, and the baby’s room will actually start to look like a room for a baby.
Since yesterday was January 1st, we went to my parents’ house for my mom’s traditional New Year’s Day meal of pork roast with dumplings, cooked in sauerkraut. It’s what she had every year growing up in Pennsylvania, and it’s as much a part of the holidays as the standing rib roast and Yorkshire pudding she makes every Christmas.
January’s arrival also means that we only have three more months before another small someone arrives. A small someone who reminds me of his presence every day with a floor routine that would certainly rival the ones we saw at Beijing 2008. Ben and I sit on the sofa most evenings and laugh as we watch my tummy bounce this way and that, and I think Deacon hears us laughing and bounces harder in response.
Even so, there’s a certain feeling of unreality about it all. How on earth did I suddenly get to be almost seven months pregnant? And hey, I love having a basketball tummy and feeling good about it, but I’m not quite as crazy about the case of the disappearing anklebones. And this whole labor and delivery thing — can’t I just skip that part and have UPS bring the baby instead? They’re good at delivering things, right?
Still, this little boy gets bigger every day and constantly closer to his very real entrance into our lives. We’re eager for his arrival, but we’re also enjoying our last few months as “just us” — going out to dinner, cuddling on the couch, sleeping through the night — who knows when any of these things will be this easy again?
I really haven’t made any resolutions for the New Year, mainly because I have a feeling that in just a few months, life will be so completely different that the things I might have felt were important right now will seem tiny and very far away. Don’t get me wrong — I’m still working on the same things I’m always working on, like becoming more patient and less selfish. Motherhood will probably provide me with a swift kick in the butt in those areas, so I expect to make astounding progress this year. 
All through Thanksgiving and Christmas, we’ve been saying, “This time next year….” Of course, we really have no idea what this time next year will be like, but it’s fun to make predictions anyway. Since this was our last “just us” Christmas, Ben was supposed to get a really good gift, because in the past he’s always spoiled me rotten with great, creative presents while I’ve given him sweaters. There was a laptop computer at the store that he said he wanted this year, and I was excited that for once, he was going to have something he was really enthusiastic about. He was supposed to buy it before he left work one day, but he kept putting it off and coming home without it. I finally asked him about it on Christmas Eve, and he said he had decided not to get it after all. Turns out he never intended to get it. He just didn’t want me to be suspicious if I noticed a big charge at the store when he bought me the digital Rebel we’ve been drooling over for years. So he still managed to outdo and surprise me, but I’m taking comfort in the fact that at least it’s something he can use and enjoy, too. And he says that my real gift to him is the fact that I’m giving him a son. Which is a pretty good gift, I guess…
So last year is gone. This year, so far, is pretty good. And this time next year is looking even better.
10.06.08
God of Dust and Rainbows (and Autumn Leaves)
October — my favorite month. By February I’ll be swearing I never said this, but in October I actually like being cold when I get out of bed in the morning. I’m ready for a trip to the apple orchard, pumpkin carving, and some cider doughnuts (if I ever get around to making them).
October means it’s time to scale the mountain of sweaters on the closet shelf and fold and restack them all neatly. Right now, pull on the wrong one and you’ve got yourself an avalanche. And I know that no matter how nicely I organize them now, I’ll soon be right back to tossing them up to the top of the heap and hoping they stick the landing.
In October, spring is usually the last thing on my mind. The only thing I’ve ever really liked about spring is wisteria. Around here, it’s either wisteria or azaleas, and while I don’t hate azaleas as much as I used to, they’re still nowhere near the top of my list of favorite flowers. Technically, I don’t have a list of favorite flowers, but if I did, azaleas would be way down at the bottom, below paperwhites (which smell like a nursing home) and whatever that flower is that smells like rotting flesh.
Anyway, though, this year is different. Spring seems much too close for comfort, because come next April, we’re having a baby. We’re. Having. A. Baby.
Holy crap. I still have a moment’s panic when I see those words in black and white. Yesterday morning, I actually forgot for a while. About three hours after I got up, I suddenly remembered that I was pregnant. It was both funny and terrifying.
My first ultrasound a few weeks ago finally made it seem real — before that, I just couldn’t connect the plus sign on the pregnancy test with the idea of bringing a baby home. But watching him wave his arms and do little froggy leaps with his legs, not to mention seeing and hearing his heart beat… well, I understand much better now why pro-life groups want women to undergo an ultrasound before committing to an abortion.
And I’m even more clueless as to how anyone could look at those images and claim that the child they reveal is somehow less than human and will remain so until he actually leaves my body. It’s like suddenly deciding that the sun revolves around the earth just because you want it to. Say it loud enough and get enough people to agree with your position, and what? It suddenly becomes truth? I don’t think so.
Lies don’t turn into truth just because you choose to believe them, or even because the Supreme Court rules them so. Truth is not the meaningless mass of relativity we like to pretend it is, and our deliberate ignorance of absolutes does not absolve us of responsibility.
It amazes me that with all that we have learned and discovered in the past century, we’re more blind than any age has ever been. Wouldn’t it have been easier to believe that an eye simply happened to develop when all people knew was that eyes were round and allowed them to see? But now that we know all about rods and cones, how images are received, and which part of the brain processes what we see, we decide that all of this randomly fell into just the right place to give us sight, and anyone who believes otherwise is dismissed as backwards and unscientific.
From elementary school through college, I heard about the scientific method and put it into practice in little classroom experiments. It’s based on deductive reasoning, meaning that conclusions are drawn from evidence, which is collected through experimentation that yields consistent and thus predictable results. If an event cannot be demonstrated or reproduced through experimentation, then it cannot be considered scientific. It is, at best, a theory.
So how, then, can we set these principles aside simply because we’ve found an idea we like but can’t prove? Not only that, but we call this idea scientific fact, teach it exclusively to our children, and mock anyone who dares to point out our hypocrisy.
A few years ago, when my airline miles were about to expire, I used a few of them to subscribe to National Geographic. I did not renew that subscription, in part because I like Smithsonian better, but also because of one article about some exciting new “evidence” of a missing link in human evolution. I laughed out loud when I saw their artist’s rendering of this newly discovered ancestor. The actual discovery, which consisted “mainly of jawbone fragments, upper and lower teeth, and a thigh bone,” was depicted in the drawing in solid black contours. Yet around these, in blue, was constructed a misshapen, hunched, vaguely human figure. To me, this pretty much summed up the “science” of evolution. Decide beforehand what you want to find, then make whatever you do find fit the constraints of that predetermined result.
But evolution’s appeal lies in the idea that if we simply evolved over billions of years from shapeless blobs into the amazingly complex creatures that we are today, then we owe our existence to mere chance and are accountable to no one. Like rebellious teenagers, we’ve decided that our Father is out-of-touch and old-fashioned, and that we don’t want Him interfering in our lives.
I wish that every professing Christian would sit down and watch “The Truth Project,” from Focus on the Family.
In a recent study, the Barna Research Group revealed a stunning statistic that continues to reverberate throughout the evangelical world. Only 9 percent of professing Christians have a biblical worldview.
Because of this, today’s believers live very similarly to non-believers. A personal sense of significance is rarely experienced, we spend our money and time on things that fail to satisfy and we begin to wonder what life’s ultimate purpose really is. We are, in short, losing our bearings as a people and a nation….
The Truth Project is a DVD-based small group curriculum comprised of 12 one-hour lessons taught by Dr. Del Tackett. This home study is the starting point for looking at life from a biblical perspective. Each lesson discusses in great detail the relevance and importance of living the Christian worldview in daily life.
I know that Christian liberty is a very popular topic these days, and I agree that the so-called fundamentalist movement has created an extra-Scriptural list of requirements that give Christianity a bad name and cause a huge number of unnecessary conflicts within the body of Christ. But separating our faith from our lifestyle simply isn’t possible. James says the only way we can demonstrate our faith is through our actions, and faith without works is dead faith. That doesn’t mean we have to dress in sackcloth and ashes and stand on a street corner waving a Bible. But people should be able to see a difference in our lives.
I remember a man a friend and I witnessed to a few years ago while we were on vacation — we didn’t initiate the conversation. I’m ashamed to say it hadn’t even crossed my mind. We were just talking with him when he suddenly said, “You’re Christians, aren’t you?” We said that we were, and he said, “I could see it in your eyes. I don’t know what you have that I don’t, but I need it.” We hadn’t noticed anything particularly unusual about our eyes that day. We weren’t dressed “like Christians.” We had been talking with him about secular music. There hadn’t been the slightest whisper of our faith, but he could see it.
I guess I’m thinking about all of these issues more since I’m contemplating the responsibility of bringing up a child. The world he (or she!) is coming into is so full of fear, ignorance, hatred, and greed that it’s an intimidating prospect. I want our child to live above all of that, secure in the knowledge that the Creator/Redeemer has ultimate control over everything, whether or not the sinful world acknowledges Him. And I want to teach him (or her!) that by example as well as by word. I’m so disturbed by the steps towards socialism that our country is taking — allowing government its first major foothold in the business world (which will not be its last, because when has the federal government ever retreated from a part of our lives which we’ve “temporarily” handed over?), demanding that the government provide free healthcare to all of its citizens, and simply relying more and more on our imperfect government to perfect our lives for us.
These problems won’t just cease to concern me, but I’m trying to realize that no matter how screwed up our government is, no matter who is elected president next month, and no matter how I feel about it, nothing in this world can happen unless God allows it. I really don’t like either candidate, but I believe that Obama’s combination of inexperience and arrogance are especially dangerous. Putting a newbie who’s unwilling to acknowledge his need for guidance in a position of leadership is s scary idea. Maybe he’ll surprise me with some innate qualities of statesmanship and wisdom I just haven’t seen yet. That would be great. Or maybe God plans to use him to remind Christians that the answers to our problems as a nation can’t be found in a sinful human being, no matter how many enticing promises he makes. By the grace of God, we’ve survived bad presidents before, and doubtless He can bring us through four more years if He chooses to.
So, while I’m hardly living a “que sera, sera” life these days, I am really trying to keep in mind that the same God who made October, sheep (for sweaters), and apples (for cider doughnuts) also made azaleas, evolutionists, and Obama. And far be it from me to question His purposes.
08.05.08
Presumptive vs. Presumptuous
OK, today is a bit of a venting day. I read a story on Yahoo News a few minutes ago that frustrated and infuriated me, and I must now tell you all about it.
The Obamas are confident people. I’m all for confidence. But there is a not-so-fine line between confidence and presumption that I believe they crossed quite a while ago. So long ago that they and most of the country seem to have forgotten that the line ever existed.
The image of the freshman senator from Illinois sitting behind a seal that looks oh-so-very-much like the one that only the president is entitled to use is a pretty clear sign that he has taken victory for granted and is already operating as our emissary to the world.
Does he really believe that the American people are so weak-minded that he can simply make us think he’s already won by parading around with cheap knock-offs of our emblems of state? Worse yet, is he right?
It was surprising to see him speak without the aid of teleprompters during his world tour. His smooth and apparently effortless style suddenly devolved into something that sounded very much like the unpolished gaffs the media has so enjoyed harpooning Bush for in the past eight years.
Don’t misunderstand me — I’m not a huge fan of Bush, if for no other reason than my belief that the polarized like or dislike of his person and/or policies has put conservatives at a disadvantage in the upcoming election. But he has become the favorite punching bag of the media, and we shame ourselves when we dishonor the office of the president, whether or not we respect the man who holds it.
Not to go on too much of a tangent, but I’m similarly disgusted with the canonization of the man Bill Clinton, who dishonored the office himself while he held it. The man who used the Oval Office for his sexual liaisons with a female subordinate and set a record for major military deployments in his eight years in office is now a beloved humanitarian and voice of reason for recalling our troops from Iraq? God help us if we consider him a worthy representative of our country.
Anyway, back to the Obamas. So after watching him traipse around the world pretending to be the president, I read an article this morning about Michelle Obama’s plans for after she becomes first lady. Not her plans for if she becomes first lady. No, she’s already counting on it. After all, she’s a good dresser. What other qualifications could possibly be necessary?
Oh, but she does urge voters not to choose her husband just because of his winning smile. Shoot, there goes the whole basis for my decision.
Once upon a time, this kind of presumption was considered the epitome of low-class gaucheness. Probably still would be seen that way today if, say, the McCains were engaging in it. But in the Obamas, we seem to find their audacity a sign of their fitness for office. Maybe we’re desperate for confidence in our current situation — the stumbling economy, the energy “crisis,” the seemingly endless slog through Iraq. Change sounds good, doesn’t it?
But what solutions is Obama offering to those problems? Well, he’s open about his plan to raise taxes, although I doubt he’s totally honest about just whose taxes he wants to raise. And although the majority of Republicans and Democrats alike support off-shore drilling, he opposes it, saying that it would have no effect on gas prices and a negative impact on the environment. And Iraq… well, I’d sort of maybe kind of prefer to have someone with actual military experience making those decisions rather than someone whose policies are solely based on the most recent polls.
Sidenote alert: Funny how if you google “Bush lifts ban on offshore drilling” and then “gas prices fall,” you’ll find that they seem eerily related. The headlines about lifting the ban are mostly dated July 15. Then, a CNN article dated July 30 mentioned that gas prices had fallen for the thirteenth consecutive day. I realize that no offshore drilling had actually taken place between those two events, and I realize that correlation does not prove cause, but I do think that the mere prospect of decreasing our dependence on foreign oil has a positive psychological effect which is already being reflected at the gas pump.
And environmental issues? For their evidence, detractors point to catastrophic spills in the 1960s. Now, I wasn’t alive then, but I’ve heard that computers filled whole rooms back in those days, and I believe that technology has advanced ever so slightly in the past 40 years. So much that according to this article, “Downhole safety valves (some of the improvements added in the wake of those early mishaps) proved their worth during Katrina and Rita in 2005, when no significant spills from undersea wells were reported.”
Then there’s the point of natural seepage. Consider this: “Last year, the industry spilled 2,256 barrels of oil, fuels and chemicals, and during the first half of this year, offshore operators are on a similar course, having spilled 1,114 barrels in five incidents.” Sounds horrible, right? Now consider this: “The amount spilled by industry pales in comparison with seepage from natural fissures — an estimated 1,700 barrels per day off the coast of North America, regulators note.” That’s over 600,000 barrels per year. Does it make the extra 2,256 barrels of nastiness going into our oceans every year less nasty? Of course not, but it does give us some perspective on just how small our impact really is.
I would love to see us find some alternative fuel source that would be sufficient to meet our demands, but look at what using corn to produce ethanol has done to our food prices. Not to mention that thanks to ethanol, we can barely afford to feed our livestock. Not only has the price of actual corn products gone up, but since farmers planted fewer oats and other grains last year in order to produce more corn, feed prices exploded across the board. And why? So that people can pay more per gallon to run their vehicles on less efficient fuel to drive to the grocery store and pay higher grocery prices because we’ve tried to turn one necessity of life into another.
Again, I’ve wandered off point, but if Obama truly wants change, then why not do what’s necessary to change the issue currently affecting Americans of every class and income level?
I have this unshakeable mental image of a wealthy older relation who mentions to his poorer cousins that he’s considering leaving his estate to them upon his death. And then a day or two later, the poor cousins show up on his doorstep with all their worldly goods, move right on in, and assume all the privileges and benefits of possession without even knowing if it will ever be theirs. Kind of a combination of the story of the prodigal son, “Taps for Private Tussie,” and the Thenardiers from “Les Miserables.”
Will Obama win in November? Well, he’s got a 50/50 chance. But I wish Michelle would wait till after the election before she starts packing the china.
